Kevin Malone Joins Facebook
by blackberriesandhoney
Summary: What happens when Kevin joins Facebook? Will our favorite doofus be able to keep up?


_**Author's Note: **_

_**wow, can't believe i wrote an office fic...the show is just too good to really capture so i did the facebook route. **_

_**This fic makes references to Movie Mondays and Michael Scott's repeated Movie Monday movie Varsity Blues...**_

_**I own nothing..**_

Kevin Malone Joins Facebook

**Kevin Malone** has changed relationship status.

**Kevin Malone **is now friends with **Oscar Nunez **and seven others.

**Kevin Malone **I JUST PUT 150 M&Ms IN MY MOUTH!

**Oscar Nunez **Yes, Kev...we know, you just shouted it in the office...btw you are cleaning those M&Ms off my desk.

**Angela Martin **Maybe you should try working instead of sinning

**Dwight Shrute **likes this.

**Kevin Malone** Sinning?

**Angela Martin **Gluttony is a sin.

**Kevin Malone** Gluttony? Is that a Facebook game?

**Michael Scott **Stop! Varsity Blues is on!

**Kevin Malone **is now friends with **Jim Halpert**

**Kevin Malone **likes **Gossip Girl**

**Kelly Kapoor** You like Gossip Girl! OMG! Did you see what Chuck did last night? Both me and Ryan were soooooooo shocked! OMG!

**Ryan Howard **I do not like Gossip Girl...just clearing that up...

**Dwight Shrute **Wow, Kevin, I thought you couldn't get more pathetic after the M&Ms accident, it appears I was wrong

**Michael Scott **Shut up, Dwight. Gossip Girl has to better than Battlestar Galactica, that is such a lame show.

**Dwight Shrute **No, it isnt. You just have to watch it...

**Michael Scott **I did, it was so lame, you need to buy me the second season of 30Rock to make up for that huge waste of my life.

**Kevin Malone **is now friends with **Creed Bratton**

**Kevin Malone **My keyboard is sticky, Oscar says its from the milkshake i spilled on it earlier...i dont think thats it, i think Ange-...i mean some blonde in accounting had her cat pee on it...

**Creed Bratton **Hey, I can get you a brand new used keyboard for twenty bucks

**Kevin Malone **Really?

**Creed Bratton **Yes, meet me in the break room in five...

**Kevin Malone **likes **Hillary Swank **

**Pam Halpert **I KNEW IT!

**Jim Halpert **What are you exclaiming about?

**Pam Halpert **Don't you remember the time when we all had the debate about whether Hillary was hot or not?

**Jim Halpert **Sweetie, what are you talking about?

**Kevin Malone **What debate?

**Pam Halpert **But...you have to remember..?

**Jim Halpert **I don't remember any debates about hillary swank

**Kevin Malone **i think you are mistaken pam...

**Pam Halpert **But...oh I don't know...

**Jim Halpert **Nice play, Malone...:)

**Kevin Malone **HighFIVE!

**Jim Halpert **You do realize we're on Facebook, right?

**Kevin Malone **Yeah...

**Toby Flenderson **poked you.

**Kevin Malone **POKED ME? What the does that mean?

**Kevin Malone **Loving my new keyboard! Thanks Creed! You're The BEST!

**Creed Bratton **You friends with the redhead?

**Kevin Malone **Meredith? Nah, she doesn't have a facebook.

**Creed Bratton **Good...don't mention the keyboard to the redhead...I know where you keep the snickers...

**Kevin Malone **You're just joking...right, Creed?You're not going to mess with my snickers?

**Kevin Malone **Creed?

**Kevin Malone **I am quitting facebook, i can't handle the stress, the drama, the constant busyness of reading...i'm done...oh BILLY BOB! Not ANOTHER CONCUSSION!

**Jim Halpert **Oh Kev, don't be that way, you know you love it...and we'd all miss you.

**Dwight Shrute **That is a lie, Jim. Not all of us would miss Kevin if he left Facebook, I personally could care less.

**Jim Halpert **Dwight will miss you most of all Kev, don't leave.

**Dwight Shrute **LIAR! DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM KEVIN. I WILL NOT MISS YOU.

**Jim Halpert **Oh wow, Kev, I think Dwight has a crush on you...

**Dwight Shrute **JIM!

**Jim Halpert **Sorry, Dwight. I'm married, Kevin is single though.

**Kevin Malone **Sorry, Dwight, its not you, it's me...

**Dwight Shrute **I am not even dignifying this stupidity with a response

**Jim Halpert **But you just responded...

**Kevin Malone **I miss Stacy

**Michael Scott **Who's Stacy?

**Kevin Malone **She was my fiance

**Michael Scott **You had a fiance? Before me?

**Kevin Malone **has updated his profile picture.

**Pam Halpert **likes this.

**Jim Halpert **Is that a Scrantonicity picture?

**Kevin Malone **Yeah...before that douche bag Steve left us...

**Phyllis Vance **likes this.

**Bob Vance **Wow, one of you people were in a rock band?

**Darryl Philbin **What do you mean "you people"?

**Bob Vance **Those lame office workers

**Darryl Philbin **True...

**Michael Scott **Yeah! Those office workers are sooo lame.

**Darryl Philbin **Mike, you are an office worker.

_Fin_

_**Author's Note: this is actually longer than i planned, originally it ended when Kevin said he was quitting Facebook, but I had some inspiration...and wrote a bit more.**_

_**Personally, my favorite office character is Creed, and I could so totally see him selling Meredith's (or anyone's) keyboard to someone else in the office. **_

_**They are all so much fun to write though, Jim/Dwight interactions, Michael's low self-esteem, Kevin is soo fun, really. It's like what is the dumbest thing a person could say at the moment like "POKED ME?WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" :) Sadly, I forgot to write Andy, Stanley, Erin, Meredith and who ever else I missed into it. I love Andy, but I wasn't thinking I guess. **_

_**I personally am new to Facebook, so this was kind of a stretch and that's why so many are about status updates.**_

_**Leave a comment, the best thing for a writer is criticism and encouragement, give me whichever you want.**_


End file.
